Grief Is Cumulative
The more I think about my grandfather and the situation he is in, the worse I feel. I was just talking to G about it and he said "grief is cumulative, you should know that better than most, it builds up and you dump it, it builds up and you dump it. You just have to hope it doesn't build up so much that it smothers you". I don't know that I've ever heard truer words spoken. Sometimes I am fine and completely calm about the fact that my grandfather has terminal cancer. Other times, like this moment, the tears spill freely just speaking about the possibility of losing him.
The doctors have confirmed that this is incurable. He had surgery yesterday and his right lung is covered with cancer. Right now all I can pray is that my grandfather, the amazing man that served his country, raised his family, cared enough to help raise his grandchildren, and adores his great grandchildren can live the rest of his life relatively pain free with his family around him and that he knows how very much he means to all of us.