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Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Grief Is Cumulative

The more I think about my grandfather and the situation he is in, the worse I feel. I was just talking to G about it and he said "grief is cumulative, you should know that better than most, it builds up and you dump it, it builds up and you dump it. You just have to hope it doesn't build up so much that it smothers you". I don't know that I've ever heard truer words spoken. Sometimes I am fine and completely calm about the fact that my grandfather has terminal cancer. Other times, like this moment, the tears spill freely just speaking about the possibility of losing him.

The doctors have confirmed that this is incurable. He had surgery yesterday and his right lung is covered with cancer. Right now all I can pray is that my grandfather, the amazing man that served his country, raised his family, cared enough to help raise his grandchildren, and adores his great grandchildren can live the rest of his life relatively pain free with his family around him and that he knows how very much he means to all of us.


Blogger Yo-yo Mama said...

I'm truly sorry to hear about the diagnosis, B. In your grief don't forget to deeply celebrate the life he had and STILL has. He would want nothing less.

3:40 PM  
Blogger serenity said...

Aw sweetie. I'm so sorry to hear this. It's a process to find acceptance of the cancer, harder when your grandfather has been such a big part of your life.

Yo-Yo Mama's right - with him, celebrate his life, remind him of your love, and cherish that he's here right now.

But in the dark, in the moments where it hits you... hard NOT to let the tears flow.

Huge virtual hugs from me.

(And I've added you to my blogreader now too. Have no idea why you aren't on it.)


3:49 PM  
Blogger God throughout my life said...

I feel sorry about your grandpa... I know how hard it is but I also know how great is God and everything He does is great and He has everything under control. He loves you and your grandpa and He is with you now helping you to pass through this hard part of your lives... At the end... everything is going to be just alright! big hugs and my prayers are now for you, your grandpa and your family...:)

3:49 PM  

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