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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Small Pieces

Since my dad died I have kept a few of his things, some larger and some smaller. Over time I have been able to get rid of some of those things, a little at a time. We no longer use his old end tables or coffee table, they're sitting in my garage. We sold his breakfast nook last year when we got a new dining room table and took our small table and placed it in the kitchen. And yesterday we sold my dad's tanning booth. He bought it shortly before he passed away and I inherited it in the end. I haven't used it much the last few years and we really needed the room it was in for Aiden. I didn't mind the thought of selling it. I mean, it's just a piece of equipment right? It's not my dad, just a machine he purchased. But it feels like my dad. It feels like one more small piece of him that's slipping away. The longer he's gone, the more I've lost and the farther away he seems. I didn't realize this piece would hurt so much but it does. One more piece.


Blogger DD said...

It's hard to remove physical reminders of someone when they are gone. I'm sure it's no different than getting rid of baby clothes knowing they will never be back. Physical reminders bring back that emotional loss as if it was just yesterday, and I'm sorry it hurts.

10:14 AM  
Blogger OHN said...

It does hurt. I decided that I would allow myself a certain number of things that I wouldn't feel bad about hanging on to. I had a couple of my moms coats for YEARS until I saw a homeless woman that looked like she needed a coat. That gave me the push to get rid of a few things....my mom would have wanted me to. But, every day since she has been gone (21 years this June), I have worn something of hers. A piece of jewelry usually. Nobody knows but me, but it makes me feel good.

Don't deny yourself some actual physical reminders. There is nothing wrong with looking at something and having it bring back good feelings and memories. I just had to decide what was just "stuff" and what was something that would really be good to keep.

7:44 PM  

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