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Monday, August 21, 2006

Throwing Up Sucks

I know that may sound harsh and gross but it does suck. This morning I threw up the cracker I ate before getting out of bed. And let me just tell you – throwing up one cracker is awful. Your stomach wants to get rid of every last bit of it and will try to until it thinks there is none of the offending cracking left. This was the same set of events I went through Saturday morning with 2 crackers in my stomach. Yuck.

I am lucky - I’ve thrown up less then 10 times in the past 12 weeks - but when you do throw up the rest of your day is just off. Nothing goes right and it’s hard to have any energy to do anything.

Please don’t take this as complaining about being pregnant – that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am forever grateful for the nausea and the exhaustion and the sore breasts and the occasional vomiting. They give me hope that this pregnancy is going to stick and that things really will be okay. At the same time it’s really hard to work and concentrate and doing anything productive when you feel like crud.

I also know there are fellow infertiles* who read this blog (whom have more strength and determination than I could possibly imagine) and would give their right arm to have these symptoms and these issues. I don’t want to ever take that for granted. I know this is a blessing and I am trying to enjoy this as much as I possibly can. I think I’ll enjoy it even more when a cracker does not make me wretch.

* And as a shout out to one very special fellow infertile, JJ, I want to say thank you. When I wasn’t sure I wanted to post this she encouraged me and made me feel so much better about it. Her words: “Just because you wanted to get pregnant and be a mom doesn't mean you have to enjoy every single moment of your pregnancy. Anyone who can't appreciate that there are negative aspects to the experience isn't someone you want reading anyway.

It's ok for adoptive moms to complain about paperwork... no one tells them to be grateful for the chance to adopt... think of it as our morning sickness.

Seriously, I thought I was going to cry. How did I get lucky enough to have such a sweet, intelligent, wonderful friend??


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