Why do we expect so very much from ourselves when we are so unwilling to do anything for ourselves? I hate that so many of you understand exactly where I am right now but I appreciate beyond words your support and knowing that I'm not alone. I need to do good things for my body and I need to do them now. I may lose a few readers but please don't be surprised if this site starts showing more and more information about my weight and food choices and exercise issues. I need your support so very much but if you're not in the same place I will completely understand if this starts boring you to tears. :-)
Last night I got on the elliptical for 5 minutes. Yes, just 5 minutes at about 10:30 last night. It was late and I was tired but I did it. And I was freaking out of breath in about 2 minutes. But I did it. I didn't let the love of the couch keep my butt glued to it. I got up and forced myself to move. I didn't eat that great, dinner included mashed potatoes, but I did eat turkey breast so that's something too. I'm not expecting over night results, to magically start disliking all the foods I have loved for so long, or to instantly be able to jog 5 miles a day. I just want to make changes while I still can.
Oh and please, please remind me to avoid google. I research and look around the stupid thing way more than I should. For some reason (I can't fathom why at this point but apparently I thought there was a point when I did it) I looked up my BMI. And then I just wanted to go eat 45 chocolate chip cookies. If I went by the chart I found and got down to my "normal" weight I would need to lose 80 pounds. Frick. I have no desire to get to that weight and don't feel like I need to get to that number on the scale but boy was that a slap in the face. Baby steps indeed.