Why do the rain clouds always know where to find me?

Just when I think I'm having a good day, things are looking bright, my life is good the world falls in again. No matter where I hide my heart or try to go so that the the dark clouds can't find me again they always seem to get there. I buried my father two years ago today. I was dealing with it until now. It feels like the weight of the world has come down and I don't know how to deal with it. I'm having problems in relationships, work, and just this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. My chest feels tight, like I can't get my breath. Why can't things just feel okay? I don't ask for good or great. I don't ask for sunshine and roses everyday. I just ask for okay. Why do the clouds seem to always know my name?