Don't Know What To Say
I don't know where to begin or end so this may just be a bit of a brain dump.
I have been looking for work since I got fired in February. Luckily I have my part-time transcription work, which is fabulous. I have had ONE job interview and they offered me so little money I couldn't take the job. Seriously, I make the same amount of money in 20 hrs/wk for the hospital that I would have in 40 hrs/wk with this company. It was an excellent opportunity to get in with a great company but I just couldn't accept the position.
Then nothing. Notta, zip, zilch, ZERO. I can't even begin to tell you about the countless applications I've submitted. I even talked to the DIL of someone at church whose office was hiring and after telling her my qualifications she told me to fax all my stuff right over, that she was excited to talk to me further about a position. And then NOTHING. I never heard another word about the job. Finally I called up my old boss from eight years ago to see if by chance they needed help. Things worked out in just the right way that they did and I started working for them. The pay isn't great but it's a very easy job so I really can't complain about that.
I know it's temporary though. I have still been looking for something that will pay a little more, have fairly flexible hours, and will work well for our family. I have a few friends that are school bus drivers. They have told me for years that it would be a great option with having a family. You're always off when they are and that sort of thing. Of course my two are still a bit young for that to matter but you get the gist. I know it's not something I want to do in the long term but I also know that it would be a fabulous way for me to get through school over the next three years until I have my degree. So I decided to apply because they were hiring and pay almost $4/hr more than my current part-time job. I talked to my friends, I put them down as references, they are excited that I would do something like this.
That's where it has all stopped. The son of one of my bus driver friends applied at the same time I did. He is a wonderful, sweet kid and I wish him all the best. But he's also YOUNG and has very little job experience in general. He texted me that he had an interview this morning and to pray for him. I texted him back that I would be but I have to admit, it was like a punch in the gut. I can't even get an interview with anyone and he has one already!
You don't think the story ends there do you? No, of course it doesn't. His interview was at 8:00 o'clock this morning. At 8:41 I got a text message that he got the job. I love him and I wish him all the best but he's a 21-year-old kid who has no bills and lives with his parents and I NEED a job. He doesn't NEED it. I have a family and children and just want to be able to feel like I'm not worried that one bad thing could happen and we could be destitute. I want to be able to buy another vehicle, not a brand new one mind you, just something newer than my husband's 1991 truck and my 2000 car.
And to top it all off I feel really, really bad for feeling this way in general. I have a wonderful husband and two healthy babies. The step-niece of a friend of mine was just diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia on Friday and has already started chemotherapy. She is only 9-years-old. How in the world can I be so worried about little things like a job when I have so much to be thankful for?