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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Don't Know What To Say

I don't know where to begin or end so this may just be a bit of a brain dump.

I have been looking for work since I got fired in February. Luckily I have my part-time transcription work, which is fabulous. I have had ONE job interview and they offered me so little money I couldn't take the job. Seriously, I make the same amount of money in 20 hrs/wk for the hospital that I would have in 40 hrs/wk with this company. It was an excellent opportunity to get in with a great company but I just couldn't accept the position.

Then nothing. Notta, zip, zilch, ZERO. I can't even begin to tell you about the countless applications I've submitted. I even talked to the DIL of someone at church whose office was hiring and after telling her my qualifications she told me to fax all my stuff right over, that she was excited to talk to me further about a position. And then NOTHING. I never heard another word about the job. Finally I called up my old boss from eight years ago to see if by chance they needed help. Things worked out in just the right way that they did and I started working for them. The pay isn't great but it's a very easy job so I really can't complain about that.

I know it's temporary though. I have still been looking for something that will pay a little more, have fairly flexible hours, and will work well for our family. I have a few friends that are school bus drivers. They have told me for years that it would be a great option with having a family. You're always off when they are and that sort of thing. Of course my two are still a bit young for that to matter but you get the gist. I know it's not something I want to do in the long term but I also know that it would be a fabulous way for me to get through school over the next three years until I have my degree. So I decided to apply because they were hiring and pay almost $4/hr more than my current part-time job. I talked to my friends, I put them down as references, they are excited that I would do something like this.

That's where it has all stopped. The son of one of my bus driver friends applied at the same time I did. He is a wonderful, sweet kid and I wish him all the best. But he's also YOUNG and has very little job experience in general. He texted me that he had an interview this morning and to pray for him. I texted him back that I would be but I have to admit, it was like a punch in the gut. I can't even get an interview with anyone and he has one already!

You don't think the story ends there do you? No, of course it doesn't. His interview was at 8:00 o'clock this morning. At 8:41 I got a text message that he got the job. I love him and I wish him all the best but he's a 21-year-old kid who has no bills and lives with his parents and I NEED a job. He doesn't NEED it. I have a family and children and just want to be able to feel like I'm not worried that one bad thing could happen and we could be destitute. I want to be able to buy another vehicle, not a brand new one mind you, just something newer than my husband's 1991 truck and my 2000 car.

And to top it all off I feel really, really bad for feeling this way in general. I have a wonderful husband and two healthy babies. The step-niece of a friend of mine was just diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia on Friday and has already started chemotherapy. She is only 9-years-old. How in the world can I be so worried about little things like a job when I have so much to be thankful for?


Blogger Ms. Perky said...

This is really hard, Brandy. But please don't feel like you aren't allowed to feel like you have problems just because there are other people in the world who have bigger problems than you have. Your problems are legitimate, too. You're allowed to worry.

I'm sorry that this isn't easier. I wish I had magic answers. I'm struggling, too, but differently, and I know how hard it is to be stuck someplace always worrying about how you'll cope if the other shoe drops or a catastrophe happens.

I hope you find some answers soon, but in the meantime, please know there's someone out here in the blogosphere thinking of you.

3:00 PM  
Blogger sky girl said...

There's nothing more humbling than looking for a job. I think that the older we get the more possibilities narrow.

I'll be thinking of you and hoping that the perfect job comes along. Hang in there. As the commenter above said, your problems are legitimate and you have every right to worry.

10:57 AM  
Blogger Wait Another Year said...

Don't feel bad. I've been looking for over a year and not one interview either. It always stops when they ask me what my pay range is... but I cannot and will not settle for pennies either. I know what I'm really worth. Perhaps once our twins are in school, I can take a part time admin job if I can't find something better.

Keep your chin up and keep on looking. The economy is supposedly getting better. Something might come up soon.

9:37 AM  
Blogger docgrumbles said...

job issues STINK.

there is nothing worse than struggling to find a job when you know you are qualified and eager to work, you are not some lazy deadbeat.

So many people are going through this. The only reason I still have a job is because I was hired RIGHT before we had budget cuts and they can't fire me because they weren't allowed to hire for two other positions, even with my long maternity leave (and that is only because I worked for another state agency right before getting hired by them). It is a very unsure work world out there for so many right now.

11:20 AM  

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